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Keeping ABC's Of Memorial Custom
Each person grieves the passing of a loved one in their own unique way. This time may be especially stressful on the family members who are having to contain their emotions in order to make important decisions and proper interment arrangements. When all mourners follow the basic funeral etiquette guidelines, it helps to relieve some of the burden on the bereaved and allows everyone to say their personal farewells.
Generally speaking, utilizing a bit of discretion and practical common sense will guide one through most situations. For all others, there are a few basic principles that may be applied. It is important to note that should the deceased have made special requests or belonged to a religion or culture with specific traditions, those should be followed by all attendees as a matter of respect.
Deciding what is considered proper attire for funerary services is one of the top topics of discussion. Unless there were specific style requests left by the deceased, or required by their cultural or religious beliefs, the rule of thumb is to wear something in black, dark blue, gray or deep brown which all symbolize mourning. Take care to dress conservatively to show respect and to avoid drawing attention to oneself.
When attending a service, it is important not to be late. It is customary to arrive at least fifteen minutes prior to the start of service so that one may be seated and situated before the family begins to enter. If an unexpected and unavoidable delay should occur, enter as quietly as possible and either stand or sit in near the back so as not to disturb the proceedings.
One may offer condolences in person, through phone calls or by sending cards and letters. However they are delivered, they should be brief yet sincere messages without any well meaning advice on dealing with loss as that may be better appreciated at a later date. Most appreciate the sharing of memories as long as the deceased remains the center of focus.
These types of proceedings allow family and friends the opportunity to exchange touching memories of a lost love one, to pay respects to the bereaved and to say their final farewells. Emotions are high and sensitive during these times and following funeral etiquette reduces the risk of anyone becoming more upset than necessary. If unsure of what is the proper thing to do, one would do well to resort to common sense and discretion.
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