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Observing ABC's Of Memorial Etiquette
Each person grieves the passing of a loved one in their own unique way. This time may be especially stressful on the family members who are having to contain their emotions in order to make important decisions and proper interment arrangements. When all mourners follow the basic funeral etiquette guidelines, it helps to relieve some of the burden on the bereaved and allows everyone to say their personal farewells.
Generally speaking, utilizing a bit of discretion and practical common sense will guide one through most situations. For all others, there are a few basic principles that may be applied. It is important to note that should the deceased have made special requests or belonged to a religion or culture with specific traditions, those should be followed by all attendees as a matter of respect.
Clothing is one topic that almost always comes up in discussions regarding proper funerary behavior. The safest decision is to wear something conservative, of a dark color, with no pattern or one that is very muted and that will not draw the attention of the crowd away from the one being mourned. Unless the requests or beliefs of the deceased state otherwise, this is the best choice of attire for men and women.
It is important that one not show up late to the funerary services. If possible, try to be there about fifteen minutes early so that one has time to greet fellow mourners and still be seated before the proceedings are ready to commence. When delays are unavoidable, enter quietly and remain at the rear of the room or wait outside to avoid disturbing others.
One may offer condolences in person, through phone calls or by sending cards and letters. However they are delivered, they should be brief yet sincere messages without any well meaning advice on dealing with loss as that may be better appreciated at a later date. Most appreciate the sharing of memories as long as the deceased remains the center of focus.
The main thing to remember is that the purpose of this service is to allow family and friends to say farewell to someone who was important in their lives and to share special memories. Observing proper funeral etiquette creates a smooth flow to the proceedings and decreases the chances of distractions that may upset the bereaved. Using common sense and showing respect for all involved are good guidelines to follow when in a situation where one is unsure of what actions are expected.
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