Each person grieves the passing of a loved one in their own unique way. This time may be especially stressful on the family members who are having to contain their emotions in order to make important decisions and proper interment arrangements. When all mourners follow the basic funeral etiquette guidelines, it helps to relieve some of the burden on the bereaved and allows everyone to say their personal farewells.
For the most part, these guidelines are generally a matter of common sense and good discretion, though there are a few staple principles. In situations where the deceased stipulated certain attire be worn or activities performed, these requests should be honored foremost. If they have religious or cultural traditions they wish to be followed for the service, all mourners should participate regardless of their personal doctrines, as a matter of respect.
Clothing is one topic that almost always comes up in discussions regarding proper funerary behavior. The safest decision is to wear something conservative, of a dark color, with no pattern or one that is very muted and that will not draw the attention of the crowd away from the one being mourned. Unless the requests or beliefs of the deceased state otherwise, this is the best choice of attire for men and women.
When attending a service, it is important not to be late. It is customary to arrive at least fifteen minutes prior to the start of service so that one may be seated and situated before the family begins to enter. If an unexpected and unavoidable delay should occur, enter as quietly as possible and either stand or sit in near the back so as not to disturb the proceedings.
Condolences should be offered to the family members to express sympathy for their loss. Remarks should be brief and sincere, whether delivered in person or in a written correspondence, avoiding the urge to offer advice on how to cope with grief. Sharing a special memory of the deceased is a sweet gesture though one should take care not to make themselves the center of the story.
The main thing to remember is that the purpose of this service is to allow family and friends to say farewell to someone who was important in their lives and to share special memories. Observing proper funeral etiquette creates a smooth flow to the proceedings and decreases the chances of distractions that may upset the bereaved. Using common sense and showing respect for all involved are good guidelines to follow when in a situation where one is unsure of what actions are expected.
